Don’t fight it, go with the flow.
“Sounds like hippie talk to me. Flow seriously do you have any idea what my life is like? How am I supposed to flow with life when I feel like I am on a raging river in a boat with no oars holding on for dear life in the middle of a hurricane.”
“My life feels completely out of my control!”
And so that is how the conversation started with one of my coaching clients last week who was in the midst of a storm with her spouse.
Going with the flow is one if the topics that we discuss on the road to happiness.
I have been where she is right now, I can empathize.
I found my way through it, I can help give her direction.
It is a choice to remain and struggle on the surface or choose to slip below, freeing yourself from whatever is holding you captive and go with the flow.
To flow you must first free yourself. Once you give yourself permission to give in, all that weight you carry is lifted off and it becomes easier to see clearly.
Crap happens. It happens to all of us. You may not see it all around you because some people who have hurricanes going on in their lives simply refuse to stay on the surface and be tossed about by the thrashing and violent winds, they understand that they are free to make the choice to move below the surface to the relative calm.
Others just pretend that nothing is going on in “their world” which takes an enormous amount of energy to pull off.
You see no matter what happens on the surface lying a bit below within the depths of the water is the feeling of calm. But you can’t get there if you are struggling on the surface. Sometimes you just have to give in, allow yourself to be pulled under for a bit and go with the flow.
It’s so easy to get caught up with life’s drama and negativity. Family, relationships, children and work can all create storms on the surface. Problems, personalities and unhappy people in general can allow a convergence creating a terrible storm one in which you think that you need to stay on the surface to get these problems solved.
The truth is that it is very hard to solve problems while you are in the midst of the storm, it is much easier to see clearly free of the thunder and lightning and torrential rain that often occurs during these periods of bad weather.
So is this something we all can do? Absolutely!
How do we move from the surface to the calm below?
It begins with making a choice to not remain where you when the storm occurs. The next time you find yourself swept up, simply step back and be quiet for a moment and take a breath.
Observe what is going on without feeling the need to participate. Allow the fire to die out before rejoining and realize you may not be able to choose the outcome of some situations but you can choose the level of response and your reaction to them.
Calming yourself before reacting also gives you the opportunity to choose not to intervene for those of you (myself included) that often feel the need to fix everything.
This week if the opportunity comes up to step back from a storm try it and see what happens.
It is true smooth seas do not make skilled sailors but it is also true that skilled sailors know how to sail through storms safely!