I made the coolest discovery. I figured out how to use of feng shui for neutralizing disagreements, conflict, disputes whatever you may want to describe it as. It was in the middle of the night. I think of really interesting things when I am sleeping and happen to wake up. If I can manage to write down something legible in the dark it’s usually something that would not normally occur to me when I am awake. I am certain that I have come up with some interesting concepts but my husband is not so enthusiastic about me turning on the light and waking him up to write some amazing revelation down.
Occasionally when I wake in the morning I am really upset to learn that the answers to the questions of the universe that came to me in the dark are written in some form unknown to humans.
When I am asked by clients how to handle verbal confrontations I find it hard to give them a clear cut answer. There are so many different circumstances and level of conflict that can occur within disagreements that it is impossible to have one remedy. It is very difficult to know when to argue back, give in or leave the fight entirely. It’s a bit more complicated then what I will give you to work with here, but I think I am onto something we all may be able to use.
Within cognitive psychology is a process called predictive encoding. Simplified it means that things that we connect to a visual or picture in our mind, will be recalled much more easily, when we need to access them, then things we just read about but do not attach. Connecting an action or picture within our mind allows our actions to be accessed rationally and more quickly, rather than reacting upon them emotionally.
The one constant in any disagreement is us. We are the only part we can affect and one option to responding emotionally to any situations might be referring back to a feng shui element most closely representing the person we are arguing with and then select a remedy based upon the optimum balance of feng shui.
I have tried it over the last week and it has worked amazingly well. It works on the phone as well as in person. Looking at the person as an element and carrying out the balance is a fun way to defuse a situation.
In feng shui the earth elements are center to creating balance in the environment. It is this balance of energy that allows peace and harmony to present. This is what I believe most of us want within our lives. Try some of these out when a conflict arises and see what happens.
First we must understand the earth elements and their description and then look to the element to apply for balance.
FIRE the most powerful of the earth elements, it is heat and volatility, it is hard to stop from expanding and consuming at a voracious rate. It destroys whatever it contacts without digression. These are people who destroy others feelings and emotions, without a thought. They are verbally aggressive and usually are in positions of power although the fact that they rise to such a harmful state when addressing another person really reveals that they really have little belief in themselves.
Balance to a fire is water. Attempt to be calm, put them at ease. Do not rise with them to their level of heat. Remain cool and attempt to create a balanced amount of dialog. Do not become the wind element; you will just fan the flames. Eventually fire will be neutralized by the effects of water so don’t give in.
WIND these people are the talkers. They look to overtake any argument with many meaningless words that just create a great wind to keep you quiet and in their attempt blow out the light within your spirit. They seek to keep you from speaking because they are sure they are right and are convinced that if they speak long enough that you will give in and agree.
Balance to wind is wood. Remain unfazed by the constant stream of words. Do not allow them to penetrate your exterior by repeated attempts to harm your spirit. Stand strong against the wind and eventually they will die down and you can then show that your exterior has remained unfazed by their strong breeze.
METAL these people will seek to make you see yourself in their reflection even if the reflection is a distortion. Metal rarely mirrors back the authentic picture. These people will attempt to make you believe that you are wronging them by deflecting back to you every argument you make, but with a slight twist, turning it to their advantage. It will never be a true reflection; it will have been manipulated for their purpose.
Balance to metal is earth. Remain grounded in your vision of yourself. You are firm and you can remain virtually unaffected by their distorted reflection. Reaffirm the words spoken even if they continue to distort them as they retell the words. The metal knows what was said but will choose to continue manipulating the conversation. If you do not play into their game they will soon tire and leave you alone.
WOOD these people are not budging, their beliefs are firmly rooted and they will refuse to even listen to your side of any argument. They are hard and unbending with a rough exterior that will withstand most of the elements easily.
Balance to wood is again water. Since wood is not budging they require a calm steady stream of water to nourish and soften the ground they are rooted in. This may take much time but do not give up they will eventually soften, especially if they understand that you are gently and forever flowing. Much like a stone that is shaped by the water it takes time but can be done.
WATER is fluid and flowing. The water arguer will attempt to put you at ease without raising their voice while lulling you into a sense of calmness. The downside to a water talker is that they can go on forever and outlast even the Wind talkers.
The balance to water is fire. The power and passion of the fire is neutralized by the effects of the water but not completely extinguished. It rises the temperature of the water arguer to allow the fire and water to be on more of a balanced ground.
EARTH these are the easiest and best people to argue with. They are grounded, reasonable and will listen and speak equally. There is no balance required because they will respect your beliefs by hearing what you are saying and feel no need to convince you, they are simply interested in offering another way of seeing something and in return will try to see your point of view. This can become extremely frustrating for other elements but is something we should all strive for.
Now that you know what to look for and how to counteract the effects it will be fun for you to diagnose each conflict. I found over the last week that as I determined and then put about the remedy for each person they tended switch elements in an effort to “get to me” and it became easier for me to remain earthy and create my own fun instead of being drawn into conflict.
So I wonder did anyone recognize the way they argue in any of the elements? Would it serve you and your relationships to try to become more earth like to create more balance and harmony? I know I will think about the element I am at each moment. We will never avoid all disagreements but maybe if we look with a new, more earthly vision we can begin to be the change we all need on this earth.